On the Matter of Cats

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CATS One thing I do not understand is this whole thing about cats being sassy, dumb, or feral. There is a huge controversy about cats. Some people claim that they are feral and never truly trained. Well, I beg to differ. Some cats, I’m sure, are feral, uncontrollable, and have behavior problems. So, I may add, do some people. I mean, when’s the last time you’ve ever heard of a cat being a serial killer? Well, unless you count mice. Some people claim that cats are dumb. That also depends on the cat. I’m sure that somewhere in the world there is a cat who is really, incontrovertibly stupid. However, nine cases out of ten, the cat in question doesn’t not understand whatever it is the owner is trying to get it to do. It understands quite well; it simply doesn’t feel like doing it and thus refuses. To my way of thinking, this is quite smarter than a dog, who will do just about anything for its owner without thinking its way through. I’m sure that somewhere in the world there is a dog who isn’t an abject slave. Just because I’ve never seen or even heard of one doesn’t mean there isn’t one. Some people claim that cats are sassy. Just one question—since when is sassy bad? I’d rather have a funny cat with an attitude than a blindly obedient dog with no sense of humor. I admit I’m rather stereotyping dogs here. Still, right now, I’m addressing the stereo-typers, so when in Rome… Some people claim that cats are willful, disobedient, and independent. Yes, I suppose they are at times. And I also suppose that those claimants are angelic, obedient, and dependant to their parents as well. Of course I’m sure that they wouldn’t dream of saying no to someone who wanted them to sit up and beg for their supper. Let he without sin cast the first stone… Personally, I love cats. I also love dogs for their demonstrative nature and their innate loyalty, but whoever says that cats are not loyal are either lying through their teeth, misinformed, or ignorant. True, there are millions of cases where dogs have saved their owners. It is much harder for a cat to create a loving and close bond with its owner, but when it does, cats are known to have traveled for hundreds of miles to rejoin their owners, and to have rescued them from burning houses. So. Dogs are all nice and good. I have nothing against them, and in fact would love to have them as a pet. However, in terms of character and basic stereotypes, I must say that I would prefer to have a cat. Wait…no offense to dogs! *tries again, desperately * I mean no offense to dogs or dog-love… *is chased and torn apart by angry mob of dog-lovers*